


Dear Enemy

by garden_of_stars



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Porn, Bad ending Au, Blood Kink, M/M, More dubcon than noncon but wanted to flag to be safe, Porn With Plot, Sibling Incest, Yandere
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-06-01 06:46:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15137423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garden_of_stars/pseuds/garden_of_stars
Summary: Saeyoung is captured at Mint Eye.Saeran alternately punishes and seduces his twin. He wants to be certain his brother will never leave him again.One way or another, he'll have Saeyoung's heart.I've checked the "Underage" warning because we have a flashback to them both fooling around together before Saeyoung left to be an agent - we see a flashback of them kissing in Ch 2, and in Ch 3 they do some heavy petting.This fic was inspired by the amazingRequiem for Romancealbum by Night Club andthis amazing yandere choicest artAnd, surprise surprise, the fic is named after this track -Dear Enemy - Night Club





	1. Pray

**Author's Note:**

> May or may not have a happy resolution. I already know exactly how this is going to unfold to the climax, but the final moment I'm not 100% on. Feel free to vote for angsty end vs "the twins work their shit out" end in the comments haha;;;;;;

**Present day**

"Pray, then," his brother says, green eyes dark with disgust. "But the only one who can hear you now is me."

Saeyoung's in too much pain to respond. He's been clutching the cross at his throat so tightly the shape has bitten itself into his skin. But the ache of that is nothing compared to whatever it is coursing through his body right now.

It hadn’t been his brother who’d captured him… but the people who had, didn’t seem to have ‘gentle’ in their vocabulary. Bruises on his skin still rising to the surface. Maybe worse, he’s not sure. It hurts to breathe, but in his current condition he’s forced to constantly gasp for air.

Every breath flavoured by the taste of that green liquid he'd been forced to drink. The beating he'd received was nothing compared to the cold fire spreading through every cell in his body, right to his fingertips.

_Drink it, Saeran had commanded, holding the bottle to his mouth._

_Saeran… what’s happened to you? It’s me… it’s me. Don’t do this… I don’t know what’s happening, but it’s not –_

_DRINK IT, his brother screamed, but Saeyoung knew it was a bad idea, knew he had to get through to Saeran before he –_

_And then his twin had punched him. Hard. He could taste the blood dripping from the inside of his mouth, his own teeth cutting his lip._

_But then…_

_He’d…_

_Saeran had taken a swig of the stuff himself, and then pressed his mouth to his twin’s._

_A kiss._

_Saeyoung had to swallow or he’d drown in it._

_Both the liquid, and the kiss._

_Let’s be together, Saeyoung… his twin whispered after pulling away, his whole demeanour changing at the kiss. Let’s be together…_

_But Saeyoung still wouldn’t drink it on his own._

_Fine. But you’ll still do this with me, won’t you…_

_I knew deep inside you still missed me… right?_

_Saeran drains more of the flask and presses his mouth to his brother’s again, forcing the liquid down his throat, tongue darting over his twin’s lips as he does it._

_Saeyoung…_

_You still want me, right?_

The softness in his brother’s voice at that moment had made Saeyoung want to reach out to him, but instead he’d collapsed forwards, the substance already hitting him hard. Panting, blood and green liquid dribbling from his mouth, he’d passed out.

And when he’d woken up, he wasn’t in that dark place of stone walls and rough floors any more.

He was somewhere else… bathed in green light… on something soft…

And Saeran had been undressing him – but even unconscious, he couldn’t get Saeyoung’s hand to release the cross around his neck.

(Saeran…)

Saeyoung’s eyes try to focus on the shape above him again.

“You’re sweating like a pig,” his twin comments, still with that tone of disgust. “If you don’t let go, I’ll just cut your shirt off. Unless you’d rather overheat so bad you pass out again. Can’t believe you’re so weak you can't even handle that pitiful amount of elixir.”

Saeran neglects to mention that he’d started on far less himself. It's not important. Saeyoung should be able to take more than this. He attempts to pry his brother's fingers open once more.

Saeyoung swallows, but still won’t let go of the cross.

“Fine,” his younger brother repeats. “Then hold still.”

And he takes out the knife that hangs at his side. Ignoring Saeran's instruction, Saeyoung squirms, so as the blade separates the red threads of his shirt, it breaks his skin, too, a line of crimson following behind, all the way up to his sternum.

“Ugh. That’s your fault,” Saeran chides, “but you deserve worse. Much worse than blood and bruises and sweat.”

He leans into his twin, holding the knife at his throat, lips brushing Saeyoung’s ear.

“Did it make you feel good, when you abandoned me? Your weaker half?” His voice comes out in a hiss. “Did you get tired of fooling around with me? Was I not good enough for you anymore?”

He leans back, eyes taking in his brother’s exposed chest. Saeyoung had only improved with age. His muscles are firm, even though he’s a little soft around the belly… and his skin…

Saeran remembers running his hands up this chest… and down it…

“Left… to protect you… it was the only way…” Saeyoung manages to choke out, doing his best not to writhe with the pain, knife still at his throat.

“I wonder if I’d like you more if you couldn’t talk?” Saeran responds, as if he hasn’t even heard. “You’ve lied to me so much, how can I believe any of this? It’s better without words.”

A part of him wants to believe Saeyoung very, very much.

Wants to believe that his brother… who, in the few years they’d shared together as teens, had kissed him goodnight… had kept kissing him… both of them far closer than, Saeran knew now, brothers should be…

…wanted to believe Saeyoung had always cared, would always care. That it wasn’t just the Savior who looked upon him favourably.

And besides… the Savior never kissed him like Saeyoung did… had never loved him like Saeyoung had…

“If I cut out your tongue, do you think you’d give better head? Or would it just become pointless?” He doesn’t give Saeyoung time to reply, though the brief flash of fear in his eyes is satisfying. “You’ve surely learned some tricks since we fooled around together, right? If you could suck me off at 15, you’re probably only filthier now, right?”

He leans back in, lips at Saeyoung’s ear again. “Did you think about me, when you did it with other people? I thought about you… we never got to sleep together, but I’ve practiced on other people, now… some of them liked it, some of them didn’t…”

There’d been that girl, for a while. A failed attempt to infiltrate. She wasn’t good enough, wasn’t smart enough. And he’d seen how weak she’d been to his softer side. Like he’d been weak to Saeyoung.

When he’d fucked her, at first she’d been calling out for Ray…

He’d laughed, and called her Saeyoung. She didn’t get it, but that was fine.

When he came, fingers digging at her flesh and cock buried deep in her cunt, lips swollen with the blood her body had sent there despite herself, body more than willing to receive his seed… he’d shouted Saeyoung’s name, hard.

“Shame you don’t have breasts…” he adds, back in the moment with his brother. “They’re good to hold onto when you’re trying to get as deep as you can inside someone else…”

He smirks at his twin’s expression. “Although I guess we could do something about that, too.”

His brother’s nipples…

Saeran takes the knife away from Saeyoung’s throat, and instead delicately balances the tip on one of them.

“I’d say ‘don’t move, or you’ll cut yourself again’ Saeran starts, “but this time I _want_ you to bleed, hyung.”

And he presses down, just a little, nicking the flesh of the nipple enough that a small red trail begins to leak from it.

“Aaa…aaah…!” is Saeyoung’s response. And Saeran recognises that sound.

The elixir can have many effects on the body.

Pain… but also… some pain could become pleasure…

“I missed you, Saeyoung…” Saeran croons, and bends down again to suck at the nipple, his twin writhing underneath him with pain and something far more shameful layered underneath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm crazy busy but I'll try to wrap this up in maybe 3-6 chapters? We'll see. My main priority is still the Garden of Stars Choicest series, though!
> 
> This chapter is named after this track: [Pray - Night Club](https://youtu.be/M8fEsm5Qtbs)
> 
>  
> 
> _Pray for the day_  
>  When you say I belong  
> Pray for the day  
> When I right all my wrongs  
> Pray for the day  
> When I lay, sacred ground  
> Pray for the day  
> Let me stop cause I'm going round and round again  
> 


	2. Dangerous heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'll never let you go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting two chapters within a 24 hour period of something that isn't transcripts?! It's more likely than you think!

**When they were twelve...**

“I love him, Rika!”

“Of course you do, Saeyoung…” Rika smooths down his hair softly, handing back Saeyoung’s study notes. In the corner, a little doodle Saeyoung’s drawn of himself and his brother. “It’s a shame he can’t come out to church with you, but I’m glad you’ve been teaching him everything you’ve been learning.”

She sighs, looking over his shoulder to the open church door. There’s no one suspicious out there, but... “Saeyoung. You should be careful about letting people know you have a twin, when you already stand out so much.”

“Yeah… I know…” Saeyoung smiles up at her in the way only he can, and she can’t help but mirror it when she looks down again to see him. “I just miss him, any time I’m here instead of there… I hate being away from him.”

He reaches out, taking her hand. “He’s kind, like you.”

“Hah… I’m sure he’s much kinder than me, for you to love him so much. But remember, one day you’ll both be old enough to live on your own. Then you both can come see me, okay?”

“Okay!”

 

**Present day**

Saeran’s lips leave his brother’s nipple stiff and red, and there’s a wet, slick sound that echoes in the room around them as he pulls away.

He eyes his handiwork, wiping at his mouth and smiling far, far too broadly.

“It’s not enough… is it, Saeyoung?” he says, voice sweet. “You want more, too, right?”

“Saeran…” The moan is all Saeyoung can manage, stricken with the elixir and a lot else besides.

“Mmm. You want more. And I’m feeling generous. Aren’t you lucky?”

And the knife is back, now poised over his brother’s other nipple.

“Besides… you’re asymmetrical right now. You don’t,” Saeran pushes the tip down against the flesh of the nipple, the skin bending underneath it but not yet breaking, “match…”

Then he pulls the knife towards himself, but it’s not a small nick this time. Even the elixir can’t change Saeyoung’s responding cry to one just of pleasure.

“O-oh…” Saeran actually looks a little surprised at the damage he’s done. “That was a little too much… I…”

He wavers a second, looking between the knife and the colour seeping across Saeyoung’s skin. Bites his own lip so hard he tastes blood, too.

But then his face twists.

“They should match… they should be the same… like us… you need to be like me, Saeyoung…”

And he draws a red line across the first, pert nipple so that it matches its twin. As Saeyoung pants, the blood moves sideways towards his armpit. A contrast to the other nipple, where it runs straight down…

“Ugh… you can’t even bleed right, idiot… honestly…”

Saeran bends down and licks the trails on his brother’s chest, first one, and then the other. The bleeding slows a little, the cuts beginning to clot as best they can, Saeyoung’s body attempting to begin the formation of a scab.

But these, combined with the shallower line down the middle of Saeyoung’s chest…

It’s only then Saeran notices just how many other scars litter his twin’s skin, the light in the room too dim for him to have spotted them initially.

“Oh… hyung…”

And he’s lifting Saeyoung upright, so that he’s sitting, holding his older brother to his chest, his twin’s remaining bleeding seeping into Saeran’s clothes.

“Who hurt you, hyung… who gave you all those scars…?”

 

**When they were thirteen**

“Goodnight, Saeran...”

“Goodnight, hyung… I love you…”

Saeyoung kisses his brother’s forehead. “I love you too, Saeran-ah…”

But his brother’s eyes stay open, taking in every detail of his face, no attempt to sleep made. Sometimes Saeran got like this.

“What’s the matter? Want me to sing for you? I learned a new hymn today…”

“N...no… mother’s still awake. She might get upset…”

Making any kind of noise was likely to draw her attention, and never in a good way.

“Could you stroke my hair?”

Saeran’s requests are always things Saeyoung wants to do, and they always make his heart ache. Wishing he never had to sleep, so he could do them forever.

He runs his fingers through his twin’s hair. “Like this?”

“Mmm… like that.” Saeran’s eyes flutter closed at the touch. “Kiss me again, too?”

“Of course, my love…” Saeyoung kisses his brother’s forehead again, but when he pulls back, his twin’s eyes have opened again.

“Oh… I don’t know if you’ve called me that before…” Saeran shifts in the bed, eyes practically glowing with interest. Maybe sleep was a ways off after all. “I like it… ‘my love’...”

Saeyoung smiles, running his fingers through Saeran’s hair again. “Well, I love you, you’re special to me, so, you’re my love… you’re my heart, Saeran.”

His twin wiggles closer to him at that, nuzzling into Saeyoung’s shoulder before looking up at him again. “Then, you’re _my_ love, too, right?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

Saeran looks satisfied at this for a moment, but then his eyes grow thoughtful: “Am I your true love, Saeyoung? Like in the stories…”

The lost boy who saves the princess, the wanderer who befriends a cursed beast that turns out to be their soulmate in the form of an animal, only freed by true love’s kiss…

Saeyoung considers it. “...I think you are, Saeran,” he whispers in return.

Saeran breaks out into an innocent and sunny smile, something Saeyoung doesn’t get to see very often, in this house. His heart skips a beat, just as it does every time his twin looks at him like that.

But then, like it does so often, his brother’s smile fades, and a faint worry… the shadow that always seems to haunt Saeran passes over his face. “But… how do you know?”

_True love’s kiss…?_

“Well… what if I…?” Slowly, he leans in, to leave a chaste kiss on his twin’s lips.

“Oh…” Saeran responds, now fully awake. “I like that, too.” And then, with a whisper of his own, “...do it again.”

So, he does.

And, then, again.

And again.

Their initial attempts are clumsy, but over the following nights, they find it easier and easier to fall asleep together, after a gentle string of loving kisses.

(I’ve found my true love…)

(Of course. It makes sense.)

And at the time, it did. It really, really did.

 

**Present day**

Saeran rocks a moment, and something about the movement and the position gives Saeyoung the strength to finally get a sentence out.

“S… Saeran… we have to stop this.”

Saeran’s gentle hold turns painful as his fingers dig into Saeyoung’s flesh in response.

“Stop... this? Stop this...?!”

He pushes Saeyoung back from him a little, raising his chin when Saeyoung can’t quite manage it on his own.

“You started it!” Saeran’s voice is a mixture of accusation and pleading. (Please, please remember… remember that you loved me…) “You kissed me first. It was you. You started it, Saeyoung!!! You… started it...”

And Saeyoung can’t argue.

He had.

He’d started it all.

He’d offered true love’s kiss…

...and then he’d run away.

“Saeran… I’m sorry… I didn’t know it was wrong…so I...”

“It’s not wrong, here…” Saeran returns, holding his brother’s gaze. “It’s not wrong in Paradise. Only the Savior’s word is law. And she says if I want to have you… I can have you, any way I want… my love…”

_My love… my true love…_

Saeran gently lays his brother back down. “You just need more elixir… I know I’m being impatient… but I need you to see now… you need to understand…”

Maybe he should try… that other kind. The one he’d been playing with, testing on some of the other Believers. Even himself, a little, when it seemed like it was working.

To get to see Saeyoung like that… malleable. Obedient again, like he used to be. When he’d do anything Saeran asked… if he won’t do it out of love, then this… this would work, too.

So he takes the experimental elixir, and sits Saeyoung up again, this time pressing him back against a wall so he won’t need to keep holding his brother up.

“Saaaeyouuung…” he hums, sweetly, pressing himself close. “If you drink this, maybe I’ll forgive you for leaving me… maybe I’ll listen to what you have to say… just do this for me, hyung… you can, right? Don’t you want me to forgive you for leaving? Don’t you want to go back to how we were?”

“I…” Saeyoung starts, and that’s enough. Saeran tips the mixture to his lips, and his brother drinks, his eyes not leaving his twin.

Saeran wonders how long it’ll be, like this, before those eyes start to change.

Before they match.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter title brought to you by [Dangerous Heart - Night Club](https://youtu.be/geHWRiGaTyU)
> 
> I told you way back from the start  
> We will never be apart  
> You helped me crawl out of the dark  
> When you lit the spark of
> 
> Obsession  
> I'll never let you go  
> Possession  
> Just thought I'd let you know  
> Confession  
> I've got a dangerous heart


	3. Magnetic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twin's past mirrors their present.

**Present day**

Saeran can feel his brother swallowing even before he pulls his lips away. He traces along the line of Saeyoung’s jaw with a finger, then down his neck to his adam’s apple.

“Yes…” he breathes. “That’s right… just obey me, and this will all be so much easier… just listen to me, hyung. This is the only way we can be together again… don’t fight it.”

His eyelashes brush Saeyoung’s cheek as he leans in again to kiss the line he just traced over his jaw. (Yes… like this… you should have been like this from the start. Then you wouldn’t have been hurt.)

(And, I wouldn’t have been…)

The thought starts to take him to one of the many places he’s walled off inside himself, one of many memories he doesn’t want to see.

Even just thinking about those locked-off, bruised parts of himself feels like a knife through his own brain. Thorny tendrils curling into his thoughts… hooking into his heartbeat, tearing at him…

“Aaarrgh... no, no, that’s-!”

He tears himself away from his twin, leans over the edge of the bed and clutches his knees, nausea and pain and words he doesn’t want, _doesn’t need, not now, not ever, he’s strong, he’s the strongest one, he can-!_

“Sae...ran…”

That’s right. Saeyoung’s watching him. He can’t show weakness. Saeyoung won’t listen to him if he can’t handle even this.

He turns, and Saeyoung is -

(Hyung…!)

Saeyoung’s hand, that had been gripping at his cross all this time…

The cross lies, released, back on his brother’s chest. Is it bloody from the wounds Saeran inflicted, or from his twin pressing the hard metal into his palm? Saeran isn’t certain, but, that hand that had held the cross is now reaching out for him.

“Yes…!” He turns to Saeyoung again, taking the hand in his own - Saeyoung’s fingers are curled and stiff, muscles near-locked after their deathgrip on the cross. “How is it? This one… you want to listen to me more now, right? Listen to my voice, hyung…”

Saeyoung’s eyes look back at him, a little glassy. Not blank, but certainly his brother’s considerable intellect isn’t completely engaged any more.

Which is for the best. Saeyoung thinks too much. Saeran thought too much, too.

Now he only thinks about the important things… strengthening Mint Eye… bringing its truths to more people… and…

And…

“No more praying, huh?” Saeran’s voice is honey once more. “Good… I told you, didn’t I? I’m the only one… who can hear you…”

 _Who can save you,_ his heart whispers, and the thought of his twin at his side, worshipful and obedient and completely, completely loyal…

He can feel himself getting hard. Just like he always does, thinking about Saeyoung kneeling in front of him, thinking of nothing but him…

He’s waited so long…

“Saeran…” Saeyoung’s voice is cracked, his eyes not quite looking at his brother even as he speaks his name.

Something about it pisses Saeran off.

It doesn’t sound nearly obedient enough. It almost sounds like Saeyoung’s still trying to tell him to stop, but then, why did he drink so easily?

(Is he playing with me? Is he mocking me?)

“‘Saeran!’ ‘Saeran!’” he mocks in return, yanking Saeyoung forward by his arm. “When you say it that much, it stops sounding like a name. Say something else. Or I’ll make you make other noises instead.”

(Where’d the knife go?) Saeran pushes Saeyoung back so that he’s prone on the bed once more, then stands, eyes dark with frustration, as it’s nowhere to be seen.

“Did you move it?” he hisses down to his twin, but Saeyoung just looks back at him. Silent once more.

“I can hurt you without it, you know… or are you going to stab me, huh? Did you hide it, so you can slice up your little brother’s body like you did his-”

He groans, holding his head again. (Not now. Not now.)

Saeyoung must have taken the knife. He must have taken it, and hidden it. He doesn’t trust Saeran, he’s going to betray Saeran again, even with this second chance, this kind, generous, loving second chance he’s being offered, the ungrateful, uncaring, cold brother that he is…

“How about you tell me before I regret giving you a chance to live?” Saeran crawls on top of his brother, hands either side of his chest.

“Maybe I should just bite one of them off,” he remarks, eyes dropping to his twin’s blodied nipples. “Though there’s plenty of other things I could bite off…”

But first. _That_ has to go.

He tugs at the cross resting on Saeyoung’s bared chest, but the cord doesn’t break. Well. He can use that too.

“Tell me where you put my knife…!” he spits, and twists the necklace, pulling back against his brother’s neck with one hand so that it starts to cut into his skin. “Where! Is it!”

**When they were fourteen**

“W-where…?” Saeyoung’s voice is trembling, much like his fingers on Saeran’s thigh. The bedsheets are all bunched up on Saeran’s side. Earlier, he’d had what sounded like a nightmare, but then as Saeyoung had kissed and comforted him, Saeran’s small moans of distress had changed into something else entirely.

“Here…” Saeran’s fingers cover his brother’s, then guide them towards his stiff heat. “When you kiss me… it aches… here.”

Saeyoung’s fingers curl around his brother’s erection. It feels so familiar, despite never having touched it before.

“A-ah… Saeyoung…!”

Saeyoung takes away his hand. “I-I’m sorry, Saeran… did it hurt? This has happened to me too, and I thought…”

Saeran’s hand grabs his twin’s before he can pull it further away. “N-no! Don’t… don’t stop touching it. Please.” He wriggles closer to his brother, moving his hand back to his rigid dick. “Touch me more, hyung. Please…”

“O-okay… but if it hurts, if you don’t like it, I’ll stop…”

No one’s shared the word for ‘masturbation’ with Saeyoung at church or in any of the books he’s been given, but he’s learned a little on his own, having woken up with a few erections himself, lately.

He spits into his hand, and tugs gently at the head of his brother’s cock, poking free over the top of the elastic of his underwear. It’s fumbly, and awkward, and Saeran’s so sensitive already it’s over in barely a few pumps, Saeran shuddering and releasing a small puddle of wetness into his brother’s hand. Barely even noticeable when Saeyoung’s hand is already slick with spit and sweat.

Still, Saeyoung can’t help himself, raising his hand to sniff at it and - “u-ugh… this stuff smells weird… haha..”

“Hyung…!” Saeran whines weakly, now lying on his back, head spinning. “D-don’t tease me!”

“I’m not teasing you… here, smell it!”

“Aaaaaa!!! No!!” Saeran rolls away, pulling his pillow over his face. Both pause for a minute, the last exclamation loud enough that it might draw their mother… but both breathe a sigh of relief as no footsteps or yelling results.

“...sorry, Saeran. Mine… mine’s like that too… it’s just how it is, I think. I was just curious if you were the same…”

Now Saeran is scandalised again, rolling over to face his twin. “You’ve done that without me?!” Ignoring that Saeyoung had mentioned it earlier already. He’d been distracted, then.

His eyes are big and wide and impossible to turn down. “Don’t do it without me any more… okay? And don’t do it with anyone else… when you go outside…”

Saeyoung wipes his hand on his pyjama pants and pulls his brother into his chest. “Okay… I won’t… and besides… you’re my love… you only do things like this with your love…”

“Ah… that’s what I thought,” Saeran responds, pleased with himself. “It felt like that… so. It’s just for me, right?”

“Yeah. Just for you.”

**Present day**

“You…”

It’s all Saeyoung manages to choke out, before, finally, Saeran releases him again.

“Me?” he asks, not expecting an answer. “But I don't have the knife, hyung. If I did, I wouldn’t be asking, would I?”

Something about how weak and motionless his brother is being right now mollifies Saeran. He rubs at the hand that had been pulling at the cross. The flesh stings. How Saeyoung hadn’t torn his to shreds when he’d been gripping it is anyone’s guess.

Saeyoung’s skin… Saeran can’t help but gaze at all the old scars littering his twin’s chest, again. No matter how many times his body had been damaged, he was beautiful.

Handsome.

And his lips. Saeran had missed kissing them so much, when he’d left. They felt so warm against his… every nightmare, every painful thought would go away, however briefly, when he was pressed up against those lips.

And there were other things he’d missed. And things he’d never been able to enjoy… things he’d wanted, but didn’t have the words for, when they were teenagers… didn’t have the slightest idea what to do about them, then.

Not now.

He could have them all, now.

But his erection’s gone, left at some point during his anger over the knife.

He picks up Saeyoung’s hand, the one that had curled so desperately around his cross.

“Good news, hyung. I don’t care about the knife any more. I’ll find it later. Right now… right now, you can make it up to me… remember what we used to do?”

Pressing Saeyoung’s fingers against his groin, Saeran feels his cock twitch in response, already waking up again at the prospect of his brother’s hand.

Saeran uses his free hand to undo his own fly, his other keeping Saeyoung’s where it is.

Eventually, he frees himself, cock and balls hanging heavy over the edge of his pants, barely pulled down enough to free them. Half-hard already, he raises Saeyoung’s hand and spits into it. The newer elixir must have numbed his senses a little, because the spit must surely sting, the cross having done just as much damage to Saeyoung’s hand as Saeran had guessed.

“Saeyoung… jerk me off, Saeyoung… make me come on your chest…” he croons again, placing his brother’s hand on his cock. “Do it like you used to…”

But his brother’s hand is limp.

“Is it too much elixir…? But, this elixir should make you want this even more… it should…”

And his hands are at Saeyoung’s pants, now, but unlike his own, once he’s undone them, he pulls them all the way off, along with his underwear.

His brother isn't even the least bit stiff.

This isn’t how it should go.

Saeyoung would always get hard, when Saeran did… he wanted Saeran, too… he always wanted Saeran…

“Why… why don’t you want me? Saeyoung…?”

He can feel the tears rising, and he can’t, he can’t let Saeyoung see.

But the comfort of his brother’s shoulder is too tempting, so instead he bends down to press his face into it, doing his best to keep his breath steady as hot tears prickle at his eyes.

“Why…” he breathes, unable to keep the pain out of his voice, “why won’t you love me any more? What did I do? Why…”

At first he doesn’t realise the sound of his twin’s response isn’t just his own fantasy talking. But it's real, and his brother's voice says:

“I love you, Saeran… I love you… so much…”

Need to hide his tears forgotten, Saeran pushes himself up, studying his brother’s expression. The golden eyes that this time focus on his own. That don’t move an inch even as a tear splashes onto his cheek.

“I never stopped loving you… please… believe me. I love you… I love you… I love you…”

**When they were fifteen**

“I love him, Rika!”

“Saeyoung…”

He doesn’t like the way her eyes have clouded, looking at him. Like she’s seeing someone else.

Why doesn’t Rika understand? Maybe he didn’t explain it right.

“He’s my soulmate… when you were talking about it, before, I realised, that’s the word for Saeran and I… soulmates! Why don’t you like me saying it like that?”

Rika looks down at her hands, one thumb stroking the other. “Soulmates… are a bit different to brothers. Soulmates… when you’re lovers… there’s other things… V should probably have this talk with you, though…”

Saeyoung shakes his head. “Yeah. Lovers! That’s what we are! I don’t understand… is it because we’re both boys? Is that why…?”

Rika grimaces. “When you say… ‘lovers’...”

Surely he’s old enough to understand what a “lover” is, right?

Saeyoung holds his books to his chest tightly. “A lover… he’s my true love. Someone you kiss, and hold, and uhm.”

He might not be across all of societal norms, learned mostly through books and church, but he does know the way they’ve touched each other isn’t something people talk about in public.

“Someone you want to marry and live with forever…” he finishes, a little weakly, although that part is true, too.

Rika’s eyes are wide, but still so… distant. And she doesn’t respond immediately, fingers curling through her hair instead.

“This world won’t accept you two…” she murmurs, almost to herself. “Just like it won’t accept…”

But she never finishes the sentence.

**Present day**

Saeran’s voice is so tense, so excited, so disbelieving. “Do you? Do you love me? Do you really love me?”

Saeyoung’s lips quirk up into a weak smile. “I love you…” He raises a hand to touch his brother’s cheek. “No matter what… I love you. You’re my other half.”

His head had been so fuzzy… spinning, constantly. The first elixir had been painful. Thoughts almost impossible. But, whatever his brother had given him in that kiss - now, above everything else, he felt serene.

The agent part of his brain mulls over this - how did it even work? Was one a stimulant, and this other a depressant? Would the second work this way if he wasn’t still under the influence of the other?

But those thoughts spin, almost entirely untended, at the back of his mind, as he looks up at Saeran. Saeran, his sweet younger brother… he’d missed him so much. And Saeran’s crying…

His lips feel numb, and his limbs heavy, but he does his best to form the words, keeping his hand at his brother’s cheek.

“Saeran… I’m so happy to see you again.”

There’s parts of his mind that aren’t assessing the elixir or peacefully taking in his brother’s face. Parts of him screaming that he needs to escape, needs to take his brother with him, and certainly, needs to not do anything like -

“I missed kissing you, Saeran…”

Like that.

But his brother’s face lights up at the words, and god, he’s missed that smile, those eyes - even discoloured as they are, they’re Saeran’s, no one else could ever make his heart skip the way Saeran’s eyes could, and he -

Saeran kisses him, and it feels - almost - like it had before.

If Saeyoung closed his eyes, maybe he could pretend they were young again… before everything else happened… he could enjoy this one thing… this one person he loved. The only thing in his life that he cared about.

That he’d had to give up.

Because…

He doesn’t want to think about why. He’s so peaceful, right now. He’s floating. And Saeran… _ah._

He’d never used his tongue like that when they were younger.

**When they were fifteen**

“And so it’s best for both of you if you leave. You can guarantee his safety, free him of your parents…”

“...and, the other things…” Saeyoung finishes, glumly. Guiltily.

He hadn’t realised. They never talked about this at church. Everyone just assumed you knew.

Brothers shouldn’t lie together.

V nods, avoiding naming the sin just as much. “Yes. I know it hurts, but it’s for the best. In time you’ll both…”

He stops, before finishing his sentence with ‘find other people’, seeing how heartbroken Saeyoung looks already.

Instead, he finishes with, “you’ll both… find happiness. That’s all Rika and I want for the two of you.”

(Happiness…)

The times he’s been happiest, were all with Saeran.

And he’d promised Saeran he’d always be there for him.

But, if that was a sin… if his brother would be better off without him…

“So long as Saeran finds happiness… I’ll be happy.”

And at that, V smiles, and Saeyoung feels a tiny measure of hope for the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Magnetic - Night Club](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYjCS84QFIk)
> 
>  
> 
> Just like a falling star  
> Burning into view  
> Pulled through the atmosphere  
> Magnetic to you
> 
> I want it  
> I need it  
> Never giving up until you're  
> Back in my arms again
> 
> Don't let me fade away in the dark  
> Don't let me burn away like a star  
> Don't let me fade away


	4. Show it to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins' present is a twisted mirror of their past as Saeran demands Saeyoung prove his love.

**Present day**

Saeran finally pulls back from the kiss, with a wet, pleased sound.

“...you’re not lying. You’re not lying, right?”

The way his voice sounds next makes Saeyoung’s chest ache, even with his senses all mixed up with elixir.

“I… I want to believe you so much. I want that to be the truth…. so badly. So...”

He presses his forehead against his twin’s, bleached hair brittle against Saeyoung’s skin.

“Show me… please… make me believe you… show me your love. And… and take that off. It’s only hurting you.”

He gestures dismissively at the cross.

“Ah… I’ll just do it for you.”

Saeran lets his fingers caress down his brother’s neck before they hook into the necklace and pull it over Saeyoung’s head. He tosses the chain and pendant into the corner.

“They’d never accept us at the church, hyung,” Saeran acknowledges, looking back into his brother’s eyes. “They don’t even like it when two men love each other… and us? They _hate_ us. The Saviour doesn’t, though. She loves us. Even you. Even… me.”

He strokes down Saeyoung’s face. “If she loves me… and you love me… that’s all I need.”

_A lie… All I need is you… if you hadn’t left, I wouldn’t have even needed…_

Saeran pushes the thought away by dropping a hand to his cock and stroking at it, looking down at Saeyoung’s face…

_...it’s so much better, with you here…_

_...everything is better…_

“Touch me, hyung… love me again…”

 

**Age sixteen, night before separation**

Tonight.

He leaves tonight.

He’ll train hard… learn everything he can.

Live a life in the darkness, so that the person he loves can live in the light.

Free from their parents.

And free from his love…

_...it still feels wrong._

_...I love him so much… but, I..._

V had to be right. Rika had to be right.

Those two were the only people who’d ever shown them kindness.

He can’t distrust that. Who knows whether he’d ever meet anyone so willing to help them ever again?

So. He can’t love his brother any more after tonight. Not the kind of love he’s felt, at least.

 _After_ tonight.

But, before he leaves…

Just once…

They’ve just touched and kissed each other… stroked each other before now.

But there’s something more… he’s wanted to do…

“Saeran…”

 

Cuddled in bed, they’ve already tangled their limbs together, kissing at each other softly… a habit and a comfort.

For Saeran, there’s little else he has to look forward to throughout the day.

“...hyung?”

Something about Saeyoung seems different tonight.

Serious.

“Your voice sounds strange…”

Saeyoung’s reply is apologetic, and warm. “Oh… I’m sorry, Saeran. I’ve just been thinking a lot, and… I wanted to do something for you…”

Saeran’s brief moment of anxiety eases. “Hyung… you don’t need to do anything for me… what you already do… being you… it’s all I need…”

_Until the day we can be free… I can make it, because of you._

Saeyoung’s body seems to stiffen against him for a moment, and Saeran’s fear begins to creep back, but then his twin is kissing him again, and stroking him, and…

 _stroking_ him…

“A...ah...hyung… Saeyoung… mmmn…!”

 

Saeyoung can’t talk any more.

If he talks more, he’ll try to explain it all to Saeran.

He’ll cry for sure.

Saeran will too, he knows.

And if Saeran cries…

_I wouldn’t be able to do it. I’d stay with you… and be your curse._

Instead, his fingers play over Saeran’s stiffening cock with practiced ease, teasing the head with the precum already leaking from only a few gentle touches.

_After tonight, I can’t ever see you again…_

_So, at least once…_

_I can at least make you feel good… really good._

_One last time..._

 

Saeran’s surprised when his twin stops kissing him, wriggling under the sheets.

“Saeyoung…?”

But then Saeyoung’s nuzzling up to Saeran’s erection, and he -

“Oh… ah! H-hyung!”

Saeyoung’s lips wrap around Saeran’s cock hungrily, his tongue extending out to caress even as he swallows deeper, and -

\- Saeran had no idea.

No idea at all.

That it was possible to feel _this_ good.

 _This_ perfect.

 _This_ whole.

Saeyoung… might not have done _this_ before, but he was enthusiastic, and loving, and _him._

The one Saeran loved. His soulmate.

Making him feel like _this…_

As Saeyoung’s head bobs over his brother’s cock, bedsheets billowing around him, Saeran moans softly, quietly, so their mother won’t hear. Pushing up into his twin’s mouth the way he’d push into his hand.

Before long, he can feel that tightly-wound spring inside himself spasm and release and -

\- he claps a hand over his mouth to muffle his cry as he comes, and Saeyoung swallows, drinking every last drop of his brother’s sperm.

 

**And then, he leaves**

_I love you so much… always._

Saeyoung can’t help but stroke his brother’s hair one last time, as he stands, backpack over his shoulder, lit dimly by moonlight.

Saeran had fallen asleep so easily against his body after his orgasm.

Saeyoung had held him as long as he could.

_I’m sorry… that I couldn’t say goodbye to your face._

_I hope you’ll always be happy… now that I’m gone…_

_I’ll pray for your happiness every day._

_I hope you get to do everything we always talked about._

_...I love you._

 

**The present**

“I love you… Saeran…”

His mind is hazy, his body feels weak.

But that fact. His love.

He knows that, at least.

Wants to see Saeran smile again…

He reaches out, though his arms feel like the entire world is pushing down against them. Covering Saeran’s hand with his own.

“I love you…”

Saeran’s voice in return is shaky. “Hyung…” Then, as Saeyoung takes over the stroking: “Ah… Sae...young…!”

The sound of his name on Saeran’s lips, when he breathes it like that… Saeyoung finds his eyes watering.

_I never should have left you._

He agrees with Saeran completely on that. As he strokes at his brother, mind spinning and his own cock stiffening in response to his twin’s small sounds of pleasure, he promises himself this:

_I’ll get you out of here._

 

Saeran’s pleasure only increases as he notices his brother’s erection. _You_ do _still want me… your body isn’t lying to me, is it? The elixir is just helping you be truthful…_

“A..h.. you know, hyung… I’ve always thought of you… when I’ve had to be with someone else… I still had to think of you to get hard… sometimes by thinking about hurting you… sometimes thinking about kissing you… but it was always you…”

The confession makes him feel more alive than he has in months. Makes him feel _close._ Like they used to be.

_Maybe, now… here… we can be like that again._

Though Saeyoung still has a long way to go before that can truly happen.

A long, long way.

But this is a start…

He wants more.

“...suck me.”

 

So Saeyoung does. It’s a struggle, moving when he’s like this, but Saeran seems more than happy to wait. As if the difficulty of even reaching his cock was just another part of the foreplay.

It probably was.

Once he’s there, though - Saeran seems done with waiting. Saeyoung’s barely got his lips hovering over the tip before Saeran’s grabbing his head and pushing upwards. He can only take in small breaths every few thrusts - and breathing out is even more difficult. Saeyoung gags, drool leaking from his mouth down onto Saeran’s balls and the fabric of the pants still bunched up underneath them.

Saeran’s voice is a mixture of harshness and pleading. “You’ll suffer this to make me happy, right? You’ll do what you need to, to show me your love, right?”

_...what a demanding little brother..._

He knows… this is serious… part of his mind knows that. But what’s in control now is just…

_... green…_

A small fleck of green drifts across his vision as Saeran buries himself completely in his twin’s throat, and gasps. Shudders. Fills him completely.

Unlike when they were children, he doesn’t try to stay quiet at all.

 

When Saeran’s finally done, he pulls out abruptly, but then lowers Saeyoung’s head tenderly back to the bed.

“You really meant it… didn’t you? That was the truth this time, right?”

But Saeyoung doesn’t answer. Eyes blanker than before.

“Oh, hyung… at least you made it to the end, right? Guess that really was too much… but it worked. You showed me your true self, thanks to the elixir, didn’t you?” Saeran’s voice is light with wonder, and his chest feels warm, too.

_Saeyoung… were you really telling the truth?_

_Did you really leave to help me?_

He finds himself unable to think about anything else. So, much as he wants to watch over Saeyoung, he stands. Wipes himself off, zips up his fly. And heads out the door, locking it as he goes.

Maybe... the Saviour can offer some insight.

 

_He’s gone…_

Saeyoung blinks, but waits a few more minutes, just to be sure. The haze in his head is still powerful, but he knows what he has to do. Rolling over, he pulls out the knife he’d hidden before, stabbed into the underside of the pillowcase.

The tip is still red with his own blood.

 

_I’ll save you..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh, Saeyoung. Don't you think doing something like what you're about to do is gonna put you in Saeran's bad books again?
> 
> This chapter is named after this track: [Show it to me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtYa0rb_jGQ), by Night Club.
> 
> If you like the fast lane don't be slow  
> 'Cause I'm giving you the green light to go  
> If you got something you wanna show  
> Show it to me


	5. Bad girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung abandons his brother, again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, sorry there was a bit of a hiatus while I worked on some other Choicest fics on this account - I kinda have to get myself in the right mindset to write this fic (which generally involves listening to a lot of mood music). But I would like to publish the final two chapters for it before the end of January! I have them planned out and know what happens, so it's just a case of fleshing them out to a point where I'm satisfied.

**Present day - Saviour’s chambers**

“How is he doing? Oh... the look on your face tells me all I need to know.”

Rika crosses the floor to Saeran, wiping at his mouth with her thumb. Erasing the small trace of blood still at the corner of his lips. “So, can I rely on you to have him ready for what we’ll need him to do?”

Saeran’s still riding the high of his orgasm. More relaxed than he’s felt in years.

Finally. _Finally._ All his hard work, all his suffering.

After everything, finally, the world is showing him kindness.

Or rather, the orchard he tended for the Saviour has at last begun to bear fruit. It’s difficult not to go back immediately, so he can sink his teeth into that soft fruit some more…

But what Saeyoung had said, his eyes clear and truthful under the sweet influence of the drug in his system…

Saeran can’t get it out of his mind.

“Of course, Saviour…” he agrees, first of all. She always softened when he gave her obedient answers like this…

For a long time, he’d done it solely because she liked it. Her happiness the closest thing he could have to his own.

Lately, though… he finds himself just wanting to keep her happy enough that he can be allowed to spend the rest of his time as he wishes. Saeran wonders if she can tell. Wonders if that’s why she let him have his brother so easily.

_Does she think she’s throwing me a toy for me to chew?_

It wouldn’t be the first time. For a while, Saeran had found some pleasure in that. But it was pleasure that faded as soon as his games ended.

Having Saeyoung back was different. Now, _that_ was a pleasure that lasted. The high has followed him from his makeshift bed in the hacking room all the way here, after all.

“Good. I’m so proud of you. You’re a good, smart boy, Saeran…”

“Ah… you’re very kind, Saviour.” Saeran can’t ignore how much her praise affects him, no matter how rebellious he might be growing. He raises a hand to rest over his heart. Not entirely certain how to ask what he needs to ask.

“Ah, Saviour…?”

“Mm?”

“Something he said…about when he left me… he said he’d been trying to protect me.”

Rika stills.

“Is that so…”

 

**??? - Magenta**

“We’re the same. Exactly the same.”

Rika’s voice is like honey, the hands cupping his face soft.

It makes her words hurt all the more, somehow. Though the pain of having his arms chained like this for days hurts just as much.

“Abandoned, because we couldn’t create the perfect images the world will accept. No matter how hard we try… we can’t survive this world, Saeran. And those who can will never understand us.”

It’s been days, and elixir is all he’s been given to drink or eat. Dehydrated and more miserable than he’s ever been in his life, Saeran wants to cry, but there’s no tears left in him to shed. His whole body is hot, the only comfort the cold stone against his back.

“Hyung… will come back… he loves me… we’ll be together again.”

Even after all this, it’s the one fact he can believe in.

Saeyoung is the other half of his heart. They were the same…

“He abandoned you, just like I was abandoned. He realised you were too weak for this world. But if you live in my world, Saeran, you can be free. You won’t have to suffer alone.”

“No…”

But every time he drinks, and as his sleep deprivation worsens, Saeran finds himself beginning to wish for that freedom even more than he wishes for his brother. And hates himself for it.

And from that hate, something takes root, something that cools the heat of the blood in his veins. An impossible flower unfurling in his chest.

And Rika finds it, tends it, waters it until Saeran feels like he’s drowning. Under her care, it grows so strong that the thorns become visible, just behind his eyes.

 

**Present day - Mint Eye hacking room**

Saeyoung is anything but lucid. Anything but capable.

But he knows if he lets this go on, he might lose all his will to stop it.

Already, it’s too easy, too tempting to lie back down on the bed and wait for his twin.

His love.

The only person he’d _ever_ loved.

There’s no denying that elixir or not, some part of him wants this so much that even now he can hear it chanting in the back of his head.

_Lie down. Let him come to you again. Kiss him again. You can be with him now, forever. Isn’t this what you always wanted?_

“It’s not…” he chokes out, steadying himself on the edge of Saeran’s desk, almost bumping his head on one of the lower monitors. “It’s not…”

This place had twisted his gentle, sweet, curious brother into someone who seemed barely able to distinguish pleasure from pain. Love from hate. Saeyoung had to get them both out of here. Go somewhere else. Anywhere else.

Before that chanting in his head becomes too appealing to ignore.

Of course, he didn’t expect it to be easy. Saeran had probably secured the door…

...which pushes open easily against light pressure from his fingers. So easily, Saeyoung stumbles and has to steady himself with the hand holding the knife, its edge leaving a mark on the wall beside the door.

_God… this thing is really sharp…_

Saeran could have done a lot worse to him than he had, that’s for certain. And he’d even left the room unlocked…

Guilt seizes Saeyoung, and the door clicks shut once more.

He’s breaking his brother’s trust, again.

Maybe if he stays, he can convince Saeran to leave with him… that would certainly be easier, to make their way out undetected. _If_ Saeran could be convinced.

_No. This way is better. Saeran might not like it, but I…_

There’s too much of a risk that Saeyoung might be the one who is convinced, instead.

So he pushes the door open once more, and heads out into the corridor.

 

**Present day - Saviour’s chambers**

“ - so, while he might have believed he was doing the right thing, the end result is still the same. He abandoned you. So, don’t rely on him too much, Saeran. You must be sure he keeps taking the elixir, or he’ll let the world outside pull him back again, just like _he_ did...”

Saeran holds his hands behind his back, to hide how they clench into fists.

The Saviour wanted the best for him… she _did…_ but.

In this… she was wrong.

In this… Saeran knew better.

Somehow, the thought lets a smile flicker across his lips, even as his hands tense up.

Unlike V, Saeyoung _did_ love him. He’d seen that today. He’d _felt_ it. The elixir would be necessary, but… he wasn’t the same as V and Rika, after all.

He’d succeeded where the Saviour had failed, in her own relationship.

Saeran had found his paradise, and on his own terms.

_Finally, I’m strong enough to take what I want._

But it’s true he couldn’t have done it without the Saviour’s help. So he nods, the smile still playing amongst the thorns in his eyes. Takes his leave.

He’s hungry for more of Saeyoung, already. The high might have stayed with him, but it’s been _years_ since they were last together. They have so much time to make up.

Saeyoung loves him. Will be his, from now on.

So it’s okay.

Everything will be okay, now.

When he returns to the hacking room to find Saeyoung gone, the sound he makes is indescribable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, really Saeyoung's probably doing the right thing, but also... oh... oh no;;;
> 
> The next chapter is going to be very intense, so I'll probably need to spend a little time getting it right (I wrote this one, like the others, in a day, but I really want to make the next one _sing_. Hope to have it up within a week-ish!)
> 
> This chapter was named for the Night Club track, [Bad Girl](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s73TM5YX4ro)!
> 
> _Take a hit, this is it_  
>  _There's no turning back_  
>  _Fantasy, dressed in black_  
>  _Told you so, boy you know_  
>  _That you come right back_


End file.
